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If you’re married…

#1 Did you know that your marital union was joined together by God?

“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). These words, from Jesus, are commonly spoken at wedding ceremonies. The power of Jesus’s words is easy to miss. Your marital union was not merely your choice; God joined you together. Even if you gave no thought to God in the moment, you were joined together by God in your ‘I dos.’ In marriage God joins a man and woman together. Husbands, wives, remember this truth in good and hard times.

#2 Did you know that marriage exists firstly* for companionship?

“It is not good that the man should be alone…” (Genesis 2:18). God spoke these words when Adam, the first man, was made without a mate. Yes, there are many wonderful aspects to marriage (sex, children, stability, etc.). However, none of them surpasses the purpose of finding a friend in your spouse. You may not see your spouse as your friend right now. If so, right now may be the best time to recast a vision for your marriage.

#3 Did you know that true love is not passive?

True love does not primarily explode out of nothingness, like your feelings of hunger for food. The feelings of attraction and desire you felt when you first saw your spouse were likely not true love, or at least the kind of true love the Bible speaks of. 

True love is not a passive feeling but an active effort; it involves repeated self-giving for another. “Love…does not insist on its own way…” (1 Corinthians 13:5). This kind of love is perfectly depicted in God Himself. God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, Jesus (John 3:16). Jesus loved the Church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus gave Himself for our sins (Galatians 1:4). And He did this all while we were unlovely. We were enemies of God while He loved us (Romans 5:10). And His self-giving love calls us to love. “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44). How much more does your spouse deserve love than your enemy? Do your loving feelings feel diminished? Consider it a warning siren to selflessly love your spouse.

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*I say "firstly" because that is the first reason God provides Adam with Eve (Genesis 2:18-24). However, there is a difference between first reasons and ultimate reasons. The "ultimate" purpose for marriage is to glorify God by displaying, in the world, Christ's relationship with His bride, the Church (See Ephesians 5:22-33).